Egyptian experience - chapter 6 - the journey home

THE NIGHT before we left for home was a fairly low key event. We had decided to eat in the hotel restaurant but Gary and Michael, Gary and Marion, Etty and swales decided they were going out into the surrounding town to find some food. As Gary put it, "I have enough of the crap they are serving up in the hotel."

After dinner we went and settled our bill which was quite small we had some laundry costs and the price of one meal in the Belgium restaurant, the other one Jeremy paid for and we all owed him for that. I said to the man at the counter "I would like to check-out", The man said with a beaming smile "Why?" I said "Because I have run out of holiday" he said "OK then we can do that." I have to stress that all the Egyptian people we met were lovely people, they were polite, proud of their country and wanted to please us.

After we paid our bills we retired, and listened to the not so soothing beat of the disco next door until around 4 am, it seemed noisy in general, but that could have been the fact we faced an horrendous journey home.

You heard in Chapter 1 how the tour operator had changed our flights which left us undertaking a 5 hour trip from Aswan to Luxor, we then had a 5 hour drive from Luxor to El Gouna. So theoretically we were facing 10 hours all the way up to Aswan. But lunch in Luxor had been arranged, so we were pretty laid back about it as we woke the following morning.

It was pretty dark at 0430 when I got up and no, not an "Allahu Akbar........." in ear shot they seemed not to have any minarets locally so we had been free of that all week but not free from the noise the disco was putting out. Sleep really didn't feature high on this holiday, food didn't feature high on this holiday, but yet we had a ball.

We were ready for 0600 am, and we trundled the suit cases down to the reception with a view to taking them all the way to the main reception. But the doorman said "Leave the bags here sir, we will get them to your bus." So we walked up to reception and were ready to go after Ange handed in the key and had her yellow all inclusive wrist band ceremoniously cut off. I gladly ripped mine off and threw it in the bin. The next to arrive were Gary and Marion. Gary looked OK but Marion who was always crisp looked like she could sleep on a clothes line. She said "I'm just going to find somewhere to lean whilst I wake up." I stayed outside waiting for the bus. Ange joined me after a while and the others came along two by two until the 12 of us were assembled. Why 12 you may ask after all 16 of us came.

Well, when Jeremy heard about the potential 5 hour drive to Aswan as the tour operator indicated, he felt this was too much for him at the end of the holiday. Obviously Colin was also not inclined to do that journey, and as Etty and Swales were also passenger assisted coming out, then they stuck together going back and Jeremy had booked four flights for them but at an extra cost, from Hurgada a mere 20 minute drive away.

We got on the bus and I went to get the back seat so I could lie across it, but there was a man already lying there, seemingly in his underwear, on the seat in front was hung his shirt and it became apparent that was the second driver. The first had driven from Luxor already and the the second would take over at some stage. The Rep switched his mic on as we were leaving the hotel complex. He talked in a monotone and very fast so I didn't catch much of what he said other than what I mentioned before. So we were off on our return trip, it was 06:30 in the morning and we had a long trek ahead of us.

The first leg of the journey, it was quite boring. There was desert to the left, the right and ahead as far as you could see. And soon we reached the mountains and the road turned into a two-lane road. Our driver was driving fast and to me a little erratic but not enough to scare me too much. He was frustrated when he caught up with slower vehicles and at the first opportunity blew his horn at them and passed,,,and not always when he could see all of the road. Looking down the bus, as Ange and I were at the back, if it was worrying the others it wasn't obvious. The mountains weren't massive but high enough and nothing to see,....but Ange pointed out to me little piles of stone on many of the peaks, just like they are in the Lake District and in Scotland and they call them cairns.

We reached the Oasis after a couple of hours. Everyone but me got off again, I remembered how hot it was, I did go to the door to take the photograph at the start of the blog, because whilst we had been in Egypt I had seen very few Camels. We had drank camel pee purporting to be beer, but didn't see many camels. The ladies and children at the Oasis were very clever, they had Donkeys and there were Goats riding on their backs, what a photo opportunity and maybe a chance to earn some money.

On the way in Colin had some crayons, and he said to me "The bumf said bring pens they like them, so I have some colouring pens I will give them to those kids," I watched him take them and the kids snatched them from him...rather rudely I thought. My guess was some tourist would buy those later.

No one came running for emergency toilet rolls, but Gary (of Gary and Marion) came and asked "Have you two Egyptian Pounds Bob?", "No but I have one." and I gave him that. Gary was the one needing the loo urgently coming and what I forgot to tell you was that he had the chap who minded the toilets knocking on his door telling him his time was up. I think he managed to get another pound from someone.

Back on the bus we had the new driver taking over the old driver walked down the as if in a ceremonial strut saying "I am going to bed goodnight"...and he proceeded to go and lie on the back seat.

We left the desert behind us and picked up traces of green, that became more lush as we drew along side the canal again. Coming back I was on a different side of the bus and could see more of what was happening. At one point we saw what we presumed to be the local butcher. Picture the scene, A collapsible table with some scales on it, Hanging from the tree was the leg and thigh of an animal, I am not sure if it was cow, goat, ox or even camel. There was a guy next to the scales and a man wielding a cleaver chopping bits off the thigh, and putting them in the counter balancing tray, the other chap was throwing weights in the other tray, the customer was waving his arms and occasionally taking out the weights that the other man was putting in. There was a tarpaulin sheet on the floor which had sand, grass, dust, liquid, and a big chunk of meat.....we moved on before the transaction was completed, I rather hoped the customer wasn't the chef from some nearby hotel.

I was amazed to see makeshift homes at the side of the canal. I mean rickety wooden frames covered in polythene in which someone was living. On the other back a mixed group of housing some looking like run down shacks with palm leaves for roofs and others single or double storey concrete blocks with reinforcing rods sticking out of the top pylons, if this was anything like European countries it was a preparation for another storey at a later stage, but nearly everyone had a satellite dish on the roof.

As we neared Luxor, the traffic built up and we entered the city we had already visited twice before. We had a table booked at a 5 star hotel, called the Steigenberger Nile Palace. We decanted from the bus and the heat hit us. We were ushered into the entrance, which opened up into a massive courtyard where people were sat obviously customers some of whom looked ready to go back to which ever country they came from. At the other side we entered the Hotel proper. It was a very fine foyer and we were directed along a corridor to what looked like a dining room, someone behind me said "Looks like we got lucky with this one." I said "don't build your hopes up we will end up in the servants quarters mark my words", just as we neared we were diverted down some steps, "What did I tell you" I muttered. At the bottom of the stairs there was another corridor at the end of which looked like a self service restaurant. Our Rep went to ask someone where we go, it was 11:30pm. The came back and said we are too early for them and we should come back in 15 minutes in the mean time we can go on to the terrace. We did just that and hung around in the shade we were feeling the travel. Laurence went up to the railing at the side of the river Nile, the rest of us were looking at the scenery. Laurence said "Do you mind all moving out of shot, I want this photograph on my own with none of you lot in it." Charming!

The 15 minutes passed and we went back to the self service bit. The rep asked the guy at the entrance if they were ready. There was much shrugging of shoulders and a few evils being thrown around. The Rep said five more minutes.

We hung around and some went to the toilets and the rest of us chatted about the journey so far. "What about that piece of meat being chopped" I said... and a few agreed it was gross. Gary (of Gary and Mike) said don't please I feel sick." "No wonder" replied Mike. Gary (of Gary and Marion) said "Well our Marion is normally fairly laid back and easy going but last night when we got in the disco was so loud we couldn't sleep and Marion made me disco in the bedroom to the music, it didn't stop until after 2 am". Laurence said "2 am you were supposed to be having a quiet early night, because of the travel today." "Well we went out for some food, then we had a few drinks, and you know how it is" said Mike. "And you wonder why you are feeling sick Gary" I chirped in. At this stage the rep was approached by two guys who looked like waiters.

"Follow me please." our rep requested. We were not going into the self service one, we turned right and went down another set of stairs. "See I told you" I said, "Servants quarters." At the bottom we were led into the biggest dining room you have ever seen. I couldn't begin to tell you how many tables there were but if it was 100 it would not surprise me and there were 10 to a table. We sat on two tables but as we were 12 the waiters made us to fill one and have two on the other. Kevin and Carol sat on their own. There were several food containers and trays and salvers filled with fruit, veg, meat. rice, potatoes, pasta. and a table full of cakes. Most of the food was covered with clingfilm.

Our rep asked if we could start it was now 12:15 and the rep was worried we would be late for the plane. The waiters were definitely hostile, and our rep went to someone more senior and still got no joy. At 12:30 the waiters invited us to go and get some food, it was the first time our rep relaxed in the place. The food was adequate but not startling. We ate and then left fairly quickly to get back on the road. Finally we were leaving Luxor for the last time and as we were passing a Mosque "Allahu Akbar......." dam we knew we were back.

The trip to Aswan was under way and we were following the Nile all the way there, sometimes right at the side of it other times a bit away from it, but it was clearly the focus of Egypt, it brought fertile land, valued work and to some prosperity, to most subsistence.

We saw many of the Nile Boats as we sped on, and we made it to the airport just 2 hours before our flight. The rep had told us that in the duty free they didn't take Egyptian money only Dollars, Sterling or Euros. It didn't matter that much to me I could exchange the notes I had back home and I had my debit card for any purchases. We had to have out passports ready and our boarding vouchers to show the policemen at the airport entrance. When we got through the door, we were asked to put our suitcases through the x-ray machine along with any metallic things and our hand luggage, I think every one of us set the alarm off. We were frisked and let through. Once through we were directed by the airport rep to the checking in line, we were right at the end of it, the check-in people were there but they were doing nothing. we were in the left queue, Laurence moved to the right queue, there was the odd person getting through in his line and he moved forward inch by inch, then our line started to move. so Laurence moved over again. then back again until I stopped watching.

It took a full hour to get to the front and we were only 15 minutes from boarding when we had completed our immigration cards . I headed for the duty free shop. Whisky seemed a good price so i bought a litre of Bells. Then I went and bought two cans of Egyptian beer. Ange said "do you want me to get you a bottle" I said "Well I don't want to spend any more on my debit card" Ange said "Laurence just used Egyptian money." So I gave her all my Egyptian and she bought me another one. It seemed within minutes we were going through another x-ray machine as we were en route to board.

We all got settled on the plane and there were seats to spare so once we took off most of our group moved. Me and Ange had three seats so Ange was at the window and I was in the Isle seat. They announced the drinks service and when it got to me I said to the cabin crew, "six bells whiskys and a cup of tea, two glasses with ice." She said that's an odd mix" "not really" I replied. "six whiskys for me and the tea for my wife.".

We landed early 10:15 UK time, but it was 12:15 Egyptian time. We booked a taxi at baggage reclaim we got our taxis, me and Gary and Marion, Ange Dave and Pete, and Laurence and tony Carol and Kevin. we ended up at the Copthorne Effingham, and when we got there we unloaded luggage. I paid half the cost of our taxi that was roughly £7 and then Dave mugged me for Ange's fair that was another £4, even Dick Turpin wore a mask to let you know he was a mugging you. Dave and Pete had to drive to Birmingham, us to Ipswich. We got to reception and car keys were got. Gary found that Marion's car tyre was flat. So he spent a while inflating it, by which time Gary, Mike, Kevin and Carol arrived. We loaded the car, Ange got in Mike and Gary's car and off we went. It was about an hour into the ride and Gary said "the red light on the petrol gauge is on, Marion ring Gary and ask him how far I have about 30 miles of petrol.",,,she did and he said about that 35 miles. After 20 minutes we were getting worried the car was running on fumes. We rang again. Gary said "the petrol station is a few minutes away." it was and we topped up.

After a short time we were at Gary and Michael's house, what a nice house they have. It is a very big house, they showed us our bedroom which was excellent we had towels on the bed ready for use . "Right guys what do you want to drink" most had tea and coffee, I had whisky. we stayed chatting for ages and when we retired we had been travelling 21 hours. Mike and Gary's hospitality was outstanding.

We got up early and had breakfast by 10 am, a brilliant breakfast full English and more, Gary and Mike were excellent hosts.

We hit the road once more for our final time. We reminisced all the way to past Birmingham where we stopped at the services. Yes Gary needed the toilet. We refreshed and got sweets etc. and set off again. We arrived in Bolton around 3 pm Gary and Marion had to carry on further but I do believe as we past one of the mosques I heard "Allahu Akbar...."

Egyptian Experience - chapter 5 When will the stomach problems end?

WEDNESDAY WAS the day that Ange and I were going to get the bus and go to El Gouna downtown. However, I bumped into Dave who said he had managed to reserve a bed for Ange near the pool. We thought because Dave had gone to that trouble we could always go on Thursday. So we went for breakfast.

There was quite a variety at breakfast eggs done any way but poached, cold meats and cheeses, fruit, sticky buns and cakes, tea,coffee and hot chocolate. No-one needed to go hungry.

At breakfast we bumped into the two Gary's Marion and Mike, we discussed what they were going to do that day, it was there intention to go into town on the bus and explore. We said we were going to but would be going Thursday instead. I am not particularly good at sunbathing, so whilst I was dressed to sun bathe I didn't take a bed. Ange got settled, as did Pete and Dave.

The pool and very small sunbathing area was designed for the all inclusive holiday There were two young ladies in The Three Corner Group T shirt one was English and the other Dutch. They had a base near to a patio which was also the way to the bar and pool. When we all checked in we were given towel cards. We had to hand this to the man who looked after the towels who then gave us a towel. Anyway he shared their space. They had a sound system, a microphone and a music player. After lunch, I was sat at the edge of Ange sun lounger and the English girl came round shouting "Aerobics in 15 minutes " and repeating it every 15 yards. I had just decided to go to the bar for a beer, and asked the others if they wanted one as well. Dave said:"I will come with you Bob", as we went we walked past the ladies setting up the aerobics, Pete, who was lying on the sunbed said to Dave "Don't get me one Dave." He was still suffering gastric-wise. On our way to the bar we passed Jeremy and Colin lying on sunbed right next to the pool. We asked if they wanted a drink, but they were settled, Jeremy said he would come and join us for a drink later. Back at the sun beds I thought Pete was asleep, but the music kicked in and the English girl was shouting out aerobic instruction, Pete bounced up and said: "I am having some of that.." and sped of to the patio. It seemed four people were having some of that and there were three women and Pete. So as we sat on the sun beds sipping our beer Pete was going a nice colour of puce as he bounced around on the patio. After a while the aerobics evolved into salsa dancing and Pete was partnering one of the ladies and the two officials were partnering the other two. The rest of actually remarked how tiring it was watching them.

Later on when Dave and Pete went for their mandatory afternoon siesta, me and Ange went to the bar behind the reception, we found a table outside. I had a vodka and diet coke and Ange had a tonic water. On the table next to us were two elderly Norwegian ladies reading books. One, nearest to me, had all her goods and shackles on the empty chair. Ange was reading and I was watching the speed boat with the water skier, who every time he came parallel with the garden fell into the water, this was very entertaining and what with the drink I was well happy. I can't remember the exact order of this, but many of the others arrived, there were the ones who went to town, Laurence, Tony, Marion, Gary, Mike, Gary, Etty, Swales, Carol and kevin. All of whom seemed to have bags full of goodies. they sat on whatever seating was available. I asked the elderly Norwegian lady next to me if I could have the spare chairs, well she looked at me as if I had gone into her house and Pee'd on her best sofa. Anyway the lads used those and foraged for more.

The main purchases seems to have been T-shirts, lighters, and belts with a place to put a lighter in it. They were designer logos at less than designer prices. They had been to El Gouna Downtown and been on the shuttle boat too. The way they described it, made Ange and I want to go all the more. We were all off to diner later, but just before we left in the corner of my eye I could see the two Norwegians with faces like slapped arses, one holding their walking sticks and shackles and the other dragging the table as far away from us as they could.....I wondered why they booked an all inclusive holiday.

The next day Ange and I got up fairly early, had breakfast and went to catch the bus to El Gouna. The driver was absolutely brilliant, A local Egyptian with a beaming smile, probably in his 50s He asked where we were going (as if that mattered it only went to El Gouna via all the hotels) and we gave him our 5LE's for which he gave us a ticket, and off we went. Firstly we went in the opposite direction to about three hotels, then when we came past the road to our hotel, he bypassed it and went to maybe two more hotels on the way downtown. At each hotel out driver was waving at everyone and saying "Good morning" and partly to himself he kept muttering "I know him.....HELLO....and I know her...HELLO..." it was if he was in a world of his own.

We reached El Gouna and wandered around looking at the shops etc. We were not really bothered about T shirts and other goods we just wanted to see the place and have a go on the shuttle boat. We went down to the jetty which seemed to be loading people so we asked if the boat was the shuttle. The told us the shuttle left at 11.00 am, so we went and killed 30 minutes. On our return there was a queue of people, but they were on an organised boat trip from their hotel. The man said please sit in the shade and I will tell you when it is time to board. A chap came along and everything about him said 'English Tourist' he had white trousers white shirt and white hat. we heard him half shouting and with a half pigeon English accent with a Yorkshire brogue. "Is this where I catch t'shuttle boat lad..." he started, "Yes sir it is from here." "...and does it come back here?" " Yes sir it does. Would you like a ticket." "ah much is it..mate." "It is 5 LE's" "...alreet then I'll 'av one." He was about to move back and then he resumed. "...oi mate, ah much is a speed boat...a fast one....one I can take aht to sea..." "when you return sir I will introduce you to a friend and I know he will be able to satisfy your requirements." "But ah much is it....?" "My friend will tell you sir." The man beckoned us over as the shuttle boat was boarding. We were on first one other couple and the Yorkshire man. The boat set off and we saw a mixture of private housing and Hotels, After a short trip the couple got off, they were clearly at their hotel, I shouted across to the remaining passenger and said "That's a good old Yorkshire accent," he replied "Eye lad but I come from Derbyshire...but worked all me life with Yorkshire folk. So I think it has rubbed off a bit." "Where in Derbyshire" I asked, "Bakewell" he replied. We talked about the local confection the bakewell pudding, and then all was silent. "...Nice ere innit?" he said "..I wasn't sure when I booked it, because I 'ad a week on the nile, but my lady (she's not my wife) didn't want to cruise, er husband wanted her to, and she wouldn't do that so she wouldn't come 'ere so I'm ere on me own. The whiskys alreet innit." I didn't like to say to a person I didn't know; in the immortal words of Pete; that is tastes like camel pee."well I am not too keen really I have to drink the Vodka with diet coke." I replied. "Its great entertainment in't 'otel innit, there is a chap 'oo plays t'piana," "Which hotel are you in." I asked. "I'm int Three Corner Rhiana Park." I said, "We are in the Ocean View which is a sister hotel." We had been chugging along looking at great scenery and very near to being back where we started. We got off the boat and we were heading for the bus. The man from Bakewell was whisked away by the boatman. On our way back the man caught us up. He said. "That deal were crap, 25 egyptian pounds and I couldn't go out to sea....so I'm not botherin'...do you know where t'bank is?" I replied "Yes we passed two coming in, there are not far from the bus station." So he came part way and then off to the bank. We found the bus and got on it.....it was our friendly driver again. We set off and stopped at the first hotel...the Rhiana Park, the man from Bakewell was walking in as we set off and he shouted: "The bank was shut....I'll try tomorra...." Our driver said in a kind of mutter, "....I know him....HELLO...."

We were back at the hotel early so we decided we would go and find a seat at the back of the hotel near the bar, because it was too hot to sunbathe and we wouldn't get a bed. Ange dropped something off at our room and I went into the garden to find Colin in reception, Laurence and Jeremy appeared. Jeremy and Colin were treating Laurence to lunch in El Gouna downtown for his birthday. They asked if Ange and I were going we said we have been. So we went to the garden and thought before we commit to sitting here we will go see if anyone was around. There wasn't anyone so we decided to go as far as the very far side of the port and as far as the new buildings to see what's there. We came back and were completely knackered, so then we went to the bar at the garden and sat at the only table available. Two Begian ladies asked if they could sit at the remaining seats and we agreed. We dined later and retired.

Friday was the day of the street festival, it cost us 15 LE's each for dinner in the street, there was to be a live group, and a BBQ so we booked a table for all 16 of us.

The day was for us a messing around day.

Later I went to the garden bar where Jeremy and Dave were having a drink, I joined them Dave I think was on Gin and Tonic, Jeremy had something like a cocktail, I ordered some vodka. Then we were joined by some of the others, and we turned it into a drinking session. Ange came and went to get ready for the evening and it left me Jeremy and swales. We had one for the road, then another for the road and then a third for the road. We were all to meet at Peanuts at 7.00pm and then 7.30 pm at the reception and we were all going in convoy to the street venue.

As I was returning to the room I passed peanuts and Gary (of gary and Marion) was sat there, no-one had seen him since the previous day because of his attachment to the bathroom. He was on his second Vodka and Coke. I said: "You Ok Gary", "I am now Bob, and I need to make up for lost drinking time." I said give me a few I will get ready quick and come keep you company. I showered and changed ahead of Ange who was showered but just needed the final touches as women do. So I told her I was off to see Gary. When I got back Marion was with him. I joined them and very soon afterwards the rest arrived, we all had a drink and went to reception. I have to admit that at this stage the weak Vodka had managed to penetrate my thinking ability. I was on that not sober, drunkish, bordering on that going to be bladdered stage. Ange was not amused. We had an altercation in the lobby as we set off and it took the entire length of the quay before she spoke to me. Once we made the party area, we could not have had a better place to sit. There was waiter service for the drinks we had to queue for the food. Now bear in mind there must be hundreds of people around the horseshoe shaped quay, and we were inches in some cases away from the water, most of the people here by the early hours would be severely paralysed with drink.......me included.

We got our food.... well I nibbled a bit I didn't really like it, thats not a great idea being diabetic, but I consentrated on bread to give me carbo hydrate which turns to sugar. I managed to take a few photos and watch the entertainment until it was clear I was not functioning at all and was paralytic. I said to Ange: "Don't worry about me I'll go and you stay." "I can't we only have one key. I'll come with you." she said in a very unfriendly voice. Half way home again I said, "when we get there you go back, enjoy yourself.", She said "I was already enjoying myself but you managed to end that and i am not walking all that way." My card was marked I kept schtum.

The next day when Ange said are we going on that other beach I quickly replied "Of course my little swamp duck" I know when to avoid a fight you see. So at breakfast we met Dave. "I have never been off the loo all night when will it all end I feel awful." He said as we tried to devour our eggs and toast. "Have you had any of the Egyptian stomach pills" Ange asked. "No I haven't" "Well when I go back to the room I will get you a couple" she offered. and are you coming across to the other beach, we hear it is brilliant. "I doubt it we need to be near a toilet. And Pete put his back out last night." "How did he do that" I asked. "Well he was dancing with Gary to the band and when they did the twist he was a bit vigorous and when he twisted down, he struggled twisting back up. He has taken Ibuprofen so he may improve if we take it easy.

We went to the other beach and realised we should have been there from day one. Gary and Mike, Carol and Kevin decided to go and hire a boat so they could sail themselves. We had a bed Gary and Marion and Swales and Etty did, then Laurence joined us and Jeremy and Colin. We had a great morning, and its marvellous how Jeremy can swim with ease and still wear his hat. There was a little wooden jetty which you could sit on and dangle your feet and when you did the fish came and nibble your feet. there were several sack beds floating for us to lie on anchored at the limit of the swimming area and there was a bar which served food and the same waiters served you at the sun beds. We had found our first piece of Shangri la in Egypt.

We decide we would not go for lunch at the hotel we would buy it here. Luxury, Cheeseburger, chips and veg....delicious.

After our lunch as we were by the waters edge a speed boat came into the entrance to the quay, it was Gary and Mike and Carol and Kevin.

We had decided that as this was effectively the last night we could celebrate we booked the Belgian restaurant again. We met in Peanuts bar, then decanted to the restaurant. back to Peanuts and then to bed, tomorrow last day in El Gouna.

We went for breakfast, saw Dave and Pete. "Hi Dave how are you" I asked, "Awful Bob never off the loo again last night where does it come from i am hardly eating." We did realise that when we got back to England meal times would be wonderful. We wouldn't need strong stomachs because those around us need to tell us in dramatic detail the working of their digestive tract.

We will get you more pills Dave are you coming across to the other beach today. Well we'll see if the pills settle us and then maybe. We gave Dave his pills and got our towels and off we went.

We went by the little supermarket because we decided we would not eat in the pub but we would make sandwiches so we did. Dave and Pete did come over but the rest had decided to go snorkeling. We didn't see them until before dinner time and it was clear they were not too impressed with it.

Down at the other beach I was having my last dip in the water and Colin came over, he said "you know our bar bill yesterday was about £50, I had a can of Fanta and Laurence did I didn't eat and Jeremy was having cocktails and all sorts." I said "He had some food", "The other day he said to me I haven't had one hangover here in El Gouna," "I told him thats because he never stopped bloody drinking"

Tomorrow we had a major travel ordeal to undertake...............

Egyptian experience - chapter 4, blind dolphins and the next resort El Gouna

ON THE evening prior to leaving the boat Ahmed held a group meeting to ensure that we filled in the necessary pro forma for the tour company and for us to find out how we check out and settle our bills etc.

We ended up with two envelopes, one to tip the general boat crew and one to tip the tour rep Ahmed, but we had heard that Ahmed's wife had become pregnant and the group wished to mark the occasion by having a whip round of 5 LE's per person to give for the child to be. It was up to each individual to determine how much tip they gave in the envelopes.

Ahmed asked us on to the stage to teach us an Egyptian dance. We copied his example which was akin to the dance you did to the birdie song only with an Egyptian musician trying to strangle a chicken with a lute, most of us were trying this dance whilst passing crew joined in with beaming smiles of pride as they passed by for what seemed like a week. We dined and then most of us went and settled out bills.

"Allahu Akbar......................." you know the time, and we were not leaving for another 6 hours. We had a leisurely few hours on the boat waiting for the bus. We ate breakfast and received a packed lunch for the journey.

We all went onto the deck one last time waiting for our allotted departure time. Whilst there we had a reprise of the holiday so far, Swales had amused us when he told us he had heard that there were blind Dolphins in the Nile, we urged him on one occasion to ask Ahmed if there were , and he assured Swales there were not, but every now and then someone would bang the table and another would say, "One of those blind Dolphins just hit the boat." Now, whilst Swales complained about getting up so early, we were hard pressed to ever find him awake, and even as we waited for the bus he had dozed off. I showed the group the contents of my hand luggage which contained a toilet roll, what have you got that for Bob said Gary (of Marion and Gary), I replied "five hours on a coach with 17 other people who haven't managed to walk past a toilet for 7 days and one toilet on that bus, I may need a palm tree or a sand dune, and once being a boy scout I am coming prepared",

We were suddenly summoned to the reception as the bus had arrived, we met our travel rep there, we each identified our cases and the crew trundled them through 3 other boats and on to the river bank. Once on the bus our new rep told us about the journey.

We were to travel from Luxor for 2 and a half hours and then stop for refreshments at an oasis, after 20 minutes carry on for about an hour and a half to Hurgada to drop 2 passengers off and then on to our destination El Gouna. We were familiar with Egyptian time estimations so we decided that meant a 5 hour journey.

The bus left Luxor firstly following the Nile and then we did a left hand turn along a canal from the Nile which was clearly being used for irrigation. We were now heading for the eastern desert across which lay our destination. There were 18 of us on the bus, 16 from our group and 2 we were dropping in Hurgada. It meant we could all have 2 seats each if we wished. We either read or listened to ipods, or slept during the trip. as we drove on we came to the Police check points at which there were locals mingling with the traffic. Most of the locals in the traditional Galabia with head dress. Many with horse and cart carrying a very widely cultivated plant the papyrus. We saw pick-up trucks with four cows abreast on the back, on the banks of the canal there were farmers, tilling the ground and what can only be described as shacks where people lived. the locals had been burning the dead grass along the banks which were scorched, and in many of the villages there were street markets which would never have complied with British health, Safety and hygiene regulations.

After almost 3 hours we arrived at the oasis. Most of us got off the bus even if it was just to stretch our legs but it was so hot I got back on and preferred it in the air conditioning. Remember the toilet role I put it in my hand luggage in case we needed tissues for any reason, well whilst I was waiting for the bus to resume the journey, Gary (of Gary and Marion) dashed over and said "Can I borrow the emergency bog roll.....?" with a bit of a surprised look on his face as though something had suddenly cropped up. We saw him scurrying toward the conveniences, poor Gary had a bad stomach nearly all the time. When he returned he said: "Bob you are a life saver that was good thinking there wasn't even a palm leaf in there!"

Back on the road, we were passing miles of desert and beginning to enter a mountain range and when we emerged at the other side the signs were telling us Hurgada and the red sea wasn't far away. Our first call was Hurgada itself which looked very fabricated but a high standard and clean and tidy. We entered a complex and dropped the two passengers off.

Onwards to El Gouna and 20 minutes later we were rolling up outside the hotel.

Our luggage was placed on the pavement and we went into reception. We each needed a passport, a return aircraft ticket for the rep to copy, and the vouchers supplied by the tour company. we each filled in the forms we needed to and queued for a room key and an arm band.

Once sorted we went outside identified our baggage and the porter set off to our rooms. We were somewhat stunned because we were walking away from the reception and away from what we presumed to be The Three Corner ocean view hotel. In fact we walked a good 3 hundred yards to another reception in a building which was called Hotel Du Pont, owned by the same group. We went along with it, we were led to our room and baggage duly dropped. Our room was a suite, it had two three quarter beds, a central television/video/radio console on a swivel top which meant the telly could be viewed from the bed or swivelled to be viewed from the Couch occasional chair and coffee table. There were two French windows outside of which was the road into the complex and across from it was a marina with some of the biggest yachts we have ever seen. There was a spacious bathroom and a suite of built in wardrobes. There was also a fridge where I could put my insulin.

We were unpacking the clothing we needed to hang up when there was a knock at the door. Laurence and Tony came in, "Lets have a look at your room then." said Laurence. "This is nice and big, Dave and Pete are very unhappy with theirs they want to change they don't have a balcony, and they like to have a balcony so they can enjoy a pre-dinner drink." he continued. They then left, we carried on unpacking. Another knock at the door. Gary and Mike said. "Don't unpack this is ridiculous we are not where we thought we would be, this isn't 5 star accommodation we are off for a change are you coming?" "Come and have a look guys ours seems fine." I replied, and they agreed but left intent on some changes.

A little bit later the phone rang, it was Laurence, "Bob we are at the bar behind the reception we booked in at, why don't you and Ange come and join us?" "OK" I said "Oh and Dave and Pete have move into 3276, can you tell them where we are please." I agreed, Ange still wanted to unpack and freshen up so we agreed to meet in a bit. Off I went to see Dave and Pete, and then went to the meeting place. When we met up, we discussed Dave and Pete's room move. When at the reception a lady was overheard complaining that she was not where she wanted to be. her room was near us and her friends were near Dave and Pete's room. Laurence suggested a swap, but open mouth and insert foot David, said "oh they couldn't possibly want our room its at the back of beyond and vile they'll hate it." and Laurence quickly replied "Dave do you want to move from this room or not?" Fortunately, the lady requiring the change just wanted to be near her friends and she accepted.

Gary (of Gary and Marion) said Bob I am going to the bar what do you want, Pete had already arrived and had a drink for him and Dave, "Don't drink the whisky Bob its camel pee". I had a taste, he was being conservative about its taste so I got a Gin and tonic. The good thing being this was free. The bad thing I am sure I was weak. The other bad thing it was full sugar tonic so I needed a drink with diet coke, I'd would work that out later

We were there in good time for dinner and we decided we would each do our own thing and meet up afterwards in the grounds of the hotel near the bar. We met and had a great night unwinding after the journey, tomorrow we had no need to get up except for breakfast. which was from 0700 until 1000.

We never fully met up for meal times except on special occasions we ended up going either in smaller groups or individually but at breakfast we saw each other the most.

Dave and I were the only two of the group who went to the welcome meeting. We discovered that there were two buses one which was free and took us to the Hotel's beach quite a way away, then there was the Marina line which would take us to El Gouna town centre. It would be 5LE's per person return and that allowed us to use the shuttle boat. Also there were the Tuk Tuks these were little three wheeler taxis, like the ones used in India seen in a James Bond film. They were 5 LE's each per trip.

Ange caught me up after the meeting and we decided we would explore. We had a long walk around where we were stopping. Gary, Mike, Marion, Gary, Etti, Swales, Carol and Kevin got on the beach bus and disappeared for the day. Pete and Dave found sun beds and collapsed for the day.

The food, we were assured, was cleaned and cooked in mineral water and the ice cubes and salads were safe to eat. It didn't stop Etti, Gary, Gary,Mike, Swales and Jeremy from getting upset tums.

Tuesday was Laurence's birthday. We booked the Belgian restaurant, which was owned by the Three Corner Beach View Hotel, but we had a discount of 30LE's per person roughly £3, The rest we would have to pay for however the inclusive booze was free.

We met in a local bar called 'Peanuts' inclusive booze too. We arranged 16 chairs and managed to get the waitress to serve us I had opted for Vodka and diet coke. Ooodles of vodka, Gin and beer was consumed, and off we went to the restaurant.

The waiter gave us a drinks menu each and a food menu, we told him to bring red wine, white wine and Rose, and he was asking how many glasses. Laurence said "We don't want glasses we want bottles.", "but we have it on draught." said the waiter. "Then" said Laurence "You had better come up with a solution because with the amount we drink your waiters will not have time to serve any food." So we ended up having red, white and Rose wine out of empty pop bottles several bottles at that, not exactly haute cuisine but effective.

As for the food, well it attracted a mixed point of view. Ange and I had Lobster soup, we both had steak with chips and veg, and we both had crepe Suzette. We both thought it was delicious, but others were disappointed. We left there and went back to peanuts to end the night.

The beach gang were not impressed and determined not to go again. Dave and Pete felt their proximity to a toilet would play a major bearing on where they spent the next day, Laurence and Tony were doing their own thing and me and Ange thought we would find somewhere to sit or lie and read our books. Swales wondered if the blind Dolphins were in the red sea rather than the Nile. We retired wondering what tomorrow would bring as we were all still getting to know El Gouna........

Egyptian experience- chapter 3 - the end of the cruise is nigh

ON THE fourth day we were to have the Egyptian night. Many of us had bought outfits from the Boat shop. And we were to assemble in the large bar on the same deck as our cabins.

we all sat at a table and as a group, the only one not dressed up was Dave so I think someone Lent him a fez. Mike dropped right into character, with a white frock (I can't remember the proper name) and he had a painted moustache and dark glasses. Ahmed met us and the Egyptian group struck up. Now this scratch band comprised and man hitting a drum, someone shaking a rattle and a stringed instrument with a man drawing a bow over it. The combined noise was not dissimilar to those zuzulas used during the world cup.

The leader of the band came out to the audience and dragged a few good looking women up and got them dancing. He then came out and picked a few ugly men (he tried to pick me but I ducked behind Ange) so they didn't show him up, mind you he had most of his teeth, and he got them dancing. Before hand the waiters came round to see if we wanted a cocktail at some exorbitant price, we opted for beers, "lemonade" and "Irn Brew" buying only beer and diet coke.

The finale of the Egyptian night was a conga around the bar, and then it was time for dinner.

Dinner was becoming very boring. Soup, Rice, Potatoes, meat, veg, salads, bread, and sticky cakes. There were a group of Italians on board so the special chef was cooking a pasta dish which had a cheese or a tomato sauce. To be honest I just ate what I could to keep my blood sugar at the right level, I wasn't there for the food. Main topic of conversation you know it....bowels! You could hear David saying to someone..."....well of course he was running all night but....." I will save your sensibilities from any more detail unlike David in the restaurant as our intrepid holiday makers can testify to.

Back on deck afterwards we were all downing loads of "lemonade" "Irn Brew" "wine" and diet coke. We were due to berth at 2.00 am in Aswan, so we were still sailing when we all retired.

"allahu akbar........" We were clearly in Aswan and it was 04:30am in 30 minutes the phones would start ringing to get us up for the next excursion. "Good Morning Habibi, it is another glorious day....." announced Ahmed "That's a matter of opinion..." you could hear someone chunnering in the background having got up before they normally go to bed in Benidorm. "Follow me habibi we have to get to the dam early because we are going to Philea temple later and we need to beat the crowds" Ahmed instructed.

We all got on the bus and off we went, down the river bank and then slightly into Aswan town. Ahmed pointed out certain buildings of interest. to the left was a large Coptic cathedral and further along a Military hospital, once past that, the scenery became a desert landscape. we climbed a hill and did a sharp right turn and we entered the Aswan dam this was built by and Englishman around 1901 to control the Nile during drought and monsoon seasons, so that the banks of the Nile stayed fertile, and allow the Egyptians to grow crops and feed themselves. It was a tight fit for the coach to pass other coaches but they made it. When we got to the other side, we climbed even further passing near to the airport where we arrived a week ago, and then we turned left to the new Aswan dam built by the Russians between 1960 and 1970. The new one formed Lake Nasser which extends into the Sudan with the length being 550 km long and 35 km wide the surface area being 5,250 square KMs.

Ahmed told us that we were allowed to take photographs but no videos and aircraft were forbidden to fly over the dam. The reason for this strictness is the damage to Egypt any terrorist attack could make. Effectively it would destroy Egypt.

We got back into the bus and off we set to one of the most amazing Temples we visited Philea Temple. We didn't travel far just down to the old dam across the dam and down a sandy road. We got off the bus at what appeared to be a river boat quay. there were in excess of 100 boats. "Follow me habibi and keep close we are going to catch a boat to the island Temple of Philea."

This is one of those moments that you could describe as how you imagined Egypt to be. Everyone of the boat owners wanted our custom and the one Ahmed had booked was a good 5 boats behind the rest into the river. "Habibi see the man waving he is the boatman for us so climb through the other 4 boats until you reach it..." One of the ladies called Nancy, not travelling with us but in our tour, was scared on the Nile boat which had 100 passengers this excursion was becoming her worst nightmare. In for a penny as they say, we all went in single file bow to deck, deck to bow 4 times and then our boat. We were off, and sailing in the Nile several boats abreast as though it was a Maori fishing fleet. We arrived at the jetty on the island all in tact. The Temple was wonderful but had been moved brick by brick from an adjacent island upon which it once stood but under water due to the flooding of the Aswan dam. (You will notice I am telling you less about the temples because they are all very much the same)

Here I do need to explain the tipping situation in Egypt. Every time we were on a bus, at the end of it we needed to tip 5 LE per person, the same for the pony and trap but not apparently for this boat.

The region around Aswan is where the Nubian people lived, however they were displaced with the creation of Lake Nasser, Philea is the last remaining Nubian Temple. On our return trip to the banks of the Nile two Nubians got on board and were selling trinkets and decent books on Egypt. One of them had fewer teeth than a hen and I bet he hadn't reached 30 yet. They were not pushy so I bought a book. The landing was much less stressful than the outward sail. Back on the bus Ahmed announced he was taking us to a perfume shop. Groans all round.

In the perfume shop we were sat down and addressed by this Egyptian perfume expert. He had all the different essences for perfume, essential oils and essences for burning. He let us smell them rub them on our skin and whilst they smelled like brand names they were not the real McCoy, and then came the sting. "My colleagues will now talk to you about your favourite essences and here are the prices....." Basically they were looking for at least £100 worth of sales from each of us. This guy was giving me and Ange the hard sell. "So if you were interested in picking a perfume which one would it be?" Euphoria said Ange "And you sir?" "I would have M7 by Yves St Laurent" "...and essential oil" Ange said "...Lavender" "...and essence" "sandal wood..." as if by magic he produced this package and said "That will be 1, 200 LE or £120 sir..." I said "No it won't." he said "...well I can do it for 800 LE "Maybe you can but you won;t be selling it me.." I replied. "Why did you say you were interested?" "I didn't you said IF I was interested, but I'm not," He said "you can pay by credit card, or debit card, or take to the boat and pay them they will pay us." I ended up slightly rude and said "which part of bugger off are you struggling with." and we left the establishment. Gary and Mike came out with a package and £100 or so lighter.

Back at the boat we were preparing for a Felucca ride at 4.00pm. A Felucca is an un-motorised sailing boat common on the Nile and a very sedate way to sail. we were down to 10 people as 4 of our group were now able to do the 100 yards dash in 12.5 seconds but not over water. we sailed into the Nile and up past the very hotel where Agatha Christie wrote death on the Nile. On the Nile lots of young children approached us paddling on boards of old wood. they started singing to passing tourist boats, anything from 'Happy birthday' to 'merry Christmas' but our skipper was having none of it, he was shooing them away because he wanted our tip and he didn't want them to have it. On the other side of the Nile Bank was the beginning of the eastern dessert which stretched all the way to the red sea. On our return the skipper was zig zagging across the water aiming back to port, near to his final approach a rookie felucca skipper stole our man's bit of river, and some very un-Egyptian-like language was being exchanged. However with great skill he docked perfectly with no paddle or motor in sight. After an hour of sailing we were back on dry land and heading back to the boat. The good news was, on Saturday we had a visit-free. Our group were already talking like Friday night is a get drunk night as if that was something new! We could lie in the following morning until breakfast which was 08:00, however, a few of our group had booked a trip to the Nubian village and they had to be up early.

"Allahu Akbar......." Yes it was 04:30 Saturday morning. We were not expecting a wake up call, however at 5 o'clock we could hear Gary and Marion's alarm. I left Ange to wake up in her own time and wandered down to breakfast. Etti and Swales were already there, Etti still struggling with her stomach and swales unhappy being awake at such an unearthly hour. Today I thought I would have an omelette which the chef did quite well. A couple of toasts and coffee. Whilst I hardly ever have coffee in the UK I drank it all the time here. Those who weren't on a trip came and went and we met again on the deck around 09:30 am. I was at a table enjoying the sun and reading a book when Dave appeared. "I think we should save a few beds for the others Bob..." I went and got a couple of towels placed my shirt on one bed and my towels on others until we had about 10. That satisfied those of us on board. I as usual didn't need one and Pete took up figurehead position once more. At 10:30 I am ashamed to say I was drinking my first beer, the others had brought the "lemonade" but I had drank my "Irn Brew" and Ange still had a few litres of wine left. We sunbathed until lunchtime and resumed later when we were under full steam heading back to Luxor via Com Ombo and Edfu temples for those recently coming on board at Aswan.

Back at Aswan, we had one last tour. The Valley of the Kings and Hepshipsut's Funeral temple.

"Allahu Akbar......" 04:30 am Sunday, by now I couldn't be bothered waiting for the alarm call i got up showered put on my safari gear and went to the deck.

"habibi...as I have told you, the temples were all built on the West bank of the Nile and the Tombs on the East side of the Niles. Today we are going to the Valley of the Kings and we will visit three tombs..." On auto-pilot we followed him.

We walked down past our boat and came to a group of little boats which were ferry boats apparently. Off we went and on the other side we got into a bus. We were heading towards the mountains near to Luxor. When we arrived at the Valley entrance, we were given admission tickets, and told to leave cameras behind otherwise they will be taken from us. We went into the valley and got on to trolley buses which got us close to the tombs. "I cannot come into the tombs with you." announced Ahmed."None of the guides can so I will tell you everything here. Inside you will go along a corridor, with spaces left and right designed for the King's personal things, many of the markings will depict all the good things the king has done throughout his life. and then you will reach the Coffin itself. With the exception of Tutankhamen's tomb they were all robbed. So you will see very few treasure, those saved are in the Cairo museum. Many of the colours you will see came from vegetation and food stuff for example what do your think yellow came from?" "Eggs." said Colin. "in my 10 years as a guide, no-one has ever said eggs, you are the first one to get it right." The rest of us turned to Colin with that: "How the bloody hell did you come up with that" look. he said "what?"......"Well I have read it somewhere I am sure"

We were led to the first Tomb that of Ramses III, we went in and around it and the best part was coming out, it was like a furnace, very interesting but also uncomfortable. This was repeated twice more and as we queued at the last one a brochure seller approached me with a booklet about the valley of the Kings and I did want one. "Here sir it is yours for 50 Egyptian pounds." I said "No 10" he started laughing, I said "Well you started it." Ange chirped up "Give him 25" he looked hopeful. I said "I only have 20" we did the deal.

Back on the bus we were minutes away from Hepshipsut's funeral Temple, when Swales shouted at Ahmed "Where is the nearest toilet." "Are you going to be sick said Ahmed, "No" said Swales, "but if you don't find one soon I will embarrass me and make a mess of this seat " We entered the car park and Swales was off like Red Rum on form, albeit clenched buttocks and a prominent mince.

We all waited for what seemed an age for Swales to emerge from the gents. He decided quite wisely we all thought to sit this visit out, and we did the LBT ans Ahmed called it......Th e Last Bloody Temple!....One last important point from the return trip we asked Ahmed to find a Chemist, he was a sterling tour guide and we found one. Around half a dozen of us went in with Ahmed to get some medication Ahmed interpreted for the group........you take one tablet for the small diarrhea and two for the big diarrhea as you can see this subject was never far from our hearts.....

The Egyptian Experience - Chapter 2, Luxor meets Benidorm

AFTER SUPPER one or two of the group went to explore the boat, they went as far as the deck and had a drink. Tomorrow would be the start of exploring Temples 6.00 am wake up calls were arranged for us all and we all retired.

We didn't need the alarm. "Allahu Akbar....Ashhadu allailaha illallah..." rang out from the minaret next to the boat, followed in series by several other mosques, it was 04:30 in the morning, I was awake when the telephone alarm came. Well if I am honest, as we were all located in adjacent cabins, I heard Swales phone followed by Gary and Marion's, then ours, then Etty's.....etc.

OK wide awake I had a shower. Well I had a sort of shower. I got in and realised the doors which slid, were pressing on my back and my head was an inch away from the shower head, I managed to soak and apply soap to the parts I could reach which tended to be as far as the thighs. Later comparing notes, Mike told me he went into the shower soaked himself, came out, and soaped himself then went back in to rinse. Seemed like the example to copy.

After showering and general ablutions, we went down to breakfast which was in the bowels of the boat, and I need you to remember that the word bowel was first used here. The room was nicely laid out, two tables allocated for our group with 8 to a table. I was down before Ange, but Etty was ahead of me so I sat at the same table. After a general sweep of the eating options, I got some chocolate cereal and milk and then went to the industrial toaster and did two pieces of bread and had jam with it. Then my daily ritual pill taking, and I was ready for the excursion. The rest came and dined in dribs and drabs and we went to the reception area to meet the guide Ahmed. "Good morning the Luxor temple and Karnak group, from now on I will refer to you as habibi." This word is literally translated from Arabic as "my beloved", Ahmed continued, "wherever we are I will have this sign" he showed us a laminated card on one side it said habibi. "So habibi on the other side it simply says "The best group" if we split up please look for this sign."

We then followed Ahmed. What we didn't fully appreciate was that the boats docked along side each other, abreast as it were. We were closest the shore on this occasion, so we went straight off the boat via a gang plank Ahmed led us up steps to a bus. Once on the bus we drove a reasonably short distance to the Luxor Temple. Ahmed explained on the bus that we would be visiting the Luxor temple followed by Karnak and then up the Nile about 9 kilometers where the boat will have moved to a new berth. "Follow me habibi...."

We walked from the bus park to the entrance Ahmed had given us all a ticket for admission/ We filed through and assembled outside this very impressive building. "habibi! I am going to tell you many things and at the end of each tour I will be testing you so you must remember. What you see is The Temple at Luxor. Each temple has two Pylons, these are either side of the space which is an entrance, through that entrance is a courtyard with no roof, this is for the poor people. Then there is a covered vault and this is for the rich people, like footballers yes, after that there is the holy of holys, where only the King and the high priest are allowed to enter. We will go through each section and I will point out all the interesting features, then I will give you time on your own and we will meet back here in the shade later." We moved on to the outer courtyard, then the covered vault and the holy of holys. At this point he pointed out that the dimensions of each space tapered both in width and height until at the holy of holys the taper was complete. This was a similar shape to the pyramids but on its side. The reason being that the king was the God Ra's representative on earth and the holy of holys was completely dark, so as you entered you went from light to dark and at the holy of holys the King would be closest to God.

We arranged a 30 minute look around and then met at the allocated point, which is depicted in the photograph at the beginning of the blog.

Back on the bus we set off for Karnak, and Ahmed pointed out to us major excavations going on in Luxor to link Karnak and the Temple via an ancient causeway lined with sphinxes and other statues. This means the moving and demolition of more modern buildings. If Luxor was impressive then Karnak was much better. This temple is the one depicted on the film "Death on the Nile" and in one of the Bond movies where 'jaws' is seen on top of the pillars.

It had the same layout as the temple at Luxor only there were many more columns all the capitals had papyrus scrolls, indicating they were Egyptian constructions. There were hieroglyphics on the stonework Ahmed explained the significance of the Cartouche which usually contained other hieroglyphics identifying the King who built the temple and in Karnak that was Akenaten and the temple dedicated to the God Aten. Ahmed had pointed out that the Pharaohs had three periods, the first, the middle and the last, there were 30 families.

Having seen two very impressive temples we got back on the bus and drove the 9 kilometers to pick up the boat. You see some funny sights in Egypt and one such sight revealed itself in the middle of Luxor, we passed a man on a scooter with a sheep across his handle bars!!!

This time we were not the first boat and we walked through others to reach ours. We had already decided to gather on the deck for a well earned drink.

There were 16 chairs and 4 tables laid out by a few of the group under cover on the deck. It was find your bearings time. We bought our first drinks, and as with all the boats no money changed hands it was all charged to the cabin. A beer was 28 LE (Egyptian pounds) roughly 3 English pounds. We were advised by everyone who had been on a Nile cruise to take your own booze. The problem being the boat owners and the crew would not be impressed. They didn't know it yet, but the boat's sales of diet coke was about to quadruple. there were four drinking groups, The Vodka drinkers, The Whisky drinkers, the Bacardi drinkers and the wine drinkers. The Vodka and Bacardis became known as "lemonade" and the whisky "irn brew". So each of the group had a bottle with "lemonade" to go into the coke, and "irn brew" to go in the coke. As for the wine, one white wine and one red wine bottle was bought and then refilled as and when required from the boxes of wine in the cabins. The Egyptian bar staff were often perplexed to see 16 sober people buy umpteen cans of coke and drunks as skunks at the end of the evening, before the end of the Nile cruise those same people were smelling a rat and tips had to come into play.

Day three arrived and it was a trip to Edfu. The early morning calls preceded by the 04:30 am "Allahu Akbar...................." occurred. At breakfast the intrepid group was getting more experimental, Laurence came past with two fried eggs, others had omelette's, boiled eggs, pancakes etc. and Tony was eating something that looked like beef stew. The omens should have been noticed, that food may not be conducive to a touring holiday. We were advised to order a bottle of water at breakfast to take with us, which we all did. At the receptions we gathered. "Habibi, we are going to Edfu temple and I have arranged for horses and carriages to take you there, follow me and when you arrive please wait on the pavement I will be in the last carriage".

We hit the street, and the horse and carts were there in a line and what a sorry set of beasts they looked too. Ribs showing and to some extent dishevelled. we were in the second carriage with Dave and Pete. Ange and Pete sat facing the horse, Dave was next to the driver and I was sat in the foot well in front of Ange and Pete. It was very uncomfortable, after a while, the driver let Dave drive. Here you need to know about Egyptian driving. They don't! they aim. Pedestrians walk in front of moving cars and they stop mid lane to chat to a friend.

When we were all assembled at the other end, Ahmed walked us to the entrance, but we had to go through a bazaar and they knew that the following night was the Arabian night on board the boat. This is when the passengers dress up in Arab costume for the party and the meal.

As we walked through the bazaar every one of us was assailed by a trader, one put a head dress on me, and said " you see me when you come back I sell you good clothes" the same with nearly everyone of us.

Edfu was another big temple, following the now familiar layout, we toured it and learned new things and then set off for the exit. This time the friendly sales patter was more intense, they would hardly let you past, I gave the head dress back to the man who sold it me and he said "no you must come to my shop" I refused and kept walking but realised Ange was having a harder time, so I went back and helped her leave,

As the horse man arrived we got back aboard, this time I sat next to the driver and half way back he gave me the reins to drive. I winged it realising if I pull one way the horse moves in that direction and the man kept whipping the horses flank for it to run. I was very glad when we stopped. Before I knew it the horse man had taken my camera and started clicking with it, He gave it me back with hand open, I was moving off he said "...no tip....?" I gave him 5 LE, he said "what about photograph?" I gave him another 5, "Two of you" I said "bugger off you have all you are getting" and ran on to the boat.

From here we had a longish sail to Kom Ombo temple, which we would visit at 4 pm that same day. However, one or two were getting temple'd out. There were not as many going on the Kom Ombo visit, but it was one of the easiest ones, we walked to it from the boat as it was directly next to the nile. Once done we were back on board and it was meal time once more.

The evening meals were very similar each day as were the breakfasts and lunches, and some of our group were conspicuous by their absence. then we began to get tales of the runs...and it seemed that this discussion always happened around meal time much to Ange;s disappointment. Some of our group could have been general surgeons, what they didn't know about the digestive tract, wasn't worth knowing. By the third day we had all had a guided tour of Laurence's bowel activity over the preceding 24 hours. One by one our group were dropping like flies. As each party member arrived on deck for after dinner drinks, we learned at least 20 derogatory ways to say diarrhea and that one topic was set to dominate discussion for the rest of the holiday. The one good thing was we had nurse Carol, who was like a veritable girl guide, she had diacalm tablets salts for re hydrating and good advice about how to avoid cold drink, not too much alcohol and plenty of rest, which was promptly ignored as copious quantities of "lemonade" Irn Brew" and wine were consumed with lots of ice into the night.

After Kom Ombo, we had a long sail up to Aswan, and that meant a day of sailing so sun bathing was high on the agenda, Kevin did his best German impression on day 3 by saving 16 sunbeds on the deck, a sterling effort. two beds were given up, I am not a big sun worshipper and Pete started his new job as the boat's figure head, he found a table and chair right at the front of the pointed end, and soaked up the sun. Gary, Mike, the other Gary, Jeremy, Laurence and Etty were all suffering from Ghandi's revenge, so relaxing was a relative term, occasionally you would see one of them scurrying by clenching their teeth and buttocks gay or straight it didn't matter everyone was mincing this holiday.

As the day drew on, we all took the sun, and late afternoon we all started again with the beers near the bar. But just before the sun dropped, lots of tiny boats with young boys rowing them came alongside our boat they wrapped a rope around anything they could and started to throw polythene bags with Egyptian costumes in, shouting for $20 or £15 or €15...and our lot throwing them back. Before dinner the boat entered a loch and we all watched quite a remarkable piece of boatmanship as they guided the boat through.

we had aperitifs then showered down to dinner, then on the deck for more "lemonade" "Irn Brew" and wine. Tomorrow was Aswan, where we would see the Aswan dam, Lake Nassa and a Temple on an island in the Nile called Philae ....

Chapter 3 will be here very soon....